


Everything is Fine

by momothesweet



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Arguing, Implied/Referenced Cheating, M/M, but i think you already knew that, there's some drama between the two, trigger warning
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-03
Updated: 2014-01-03
Packaged: 2018-01-07 06:44:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,387
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1116732
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/momothesweet/pseuds/momothesweet
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Erwin and Levi discuss a pressing issue on the way to a meeting with Pixis.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Everything is Fine

**Author's Note:**

> *Please note a trigger warning towards the middle/end of the story.
> 
> This fic was inspired by one of my favorite short stories, "Hills Like White Elephants" by Ernest Hemingway. It's written a lot more simply than what I came up with here, so I recommend reading that, too.
> 
> Enjoy. :)

Levi entered the carriage first, then Erwin. Dot Pixis was expecting the two soon. Their plans to get back outside the walls were almost complete, and the squad doesn't want to wait any longer.

"How long did they say?" Levi asked.

"About an hour."

Erwin closed the door and sat across from Levi. The carriage was smaller than what they normally rode in, so their knees touched as Erwin tried to arrange himself comfortably in his seat.

The carriage began to move. Levi propped his leg up and rested his head on his hand, elbow leaning on the window. “Are you ready to talk about it?”

Erwin’s face stiffened. “I’m going to tell Pixis that-“

"That’s not the ‘it’ I’m talking about, Erwin."

He took a quick breath. Levi looked exactly as he always did - serious, intimidating, ready to slice a piece of a titan’s neck off. But this time, it looked like he was ready to slice  _his_.

"I don’t know what you’re talking about."

"You know damn well what I’m talking about."

Silence. Erwin turned to look out the carriage window. They were still far from their destination. The streets were crowded with locals going about their business. He saw a woman holding a baby in one hand and a breadbasket in another. He saw an old man pushing a cart full of red and green apples. There were little kids running around the old man, probably begging for just one apple. Erwin tried to imagine some of Levi’s squad members as little kids. Mikasa’s scarf brushing the ground, Armin trying to reach for an apple, Eren tugging at the old man’s shirt. So young and so innocent.

"So you’re just going to ignore me this whole time?"

He looked back at Levi. “I’m trying to ignore the whole situation.”

"But you can’t. You’re not going to."

"I made a mistake."

"Yeah, a very big one."

"We can forget about it."

"You’re an idiot if you think that I can forget about it. She’s not going to forget about it, either."

Erwin sighed. He looked out the window again. More people. A crowd clamoring around a Wallist, flailing a tattered drawing of the Wall Maria crest. A group of military police trying to clear the way for their carriage to go through. Another set of kids running around.

"Does the squad know?" Erwin asked.

"No, but they wouldn’t give two shits about what you do outside of killing titans and shooting smoke flares. Who was she?"

He hesitated. “Some woman in town.”

"Right. And I’m just some guy who serves under you, and the squad is just some brats off the streets that know a few things about 3D maneuver gear."

"That’s not what I meant."

"Really? Then what  _do_  you mean, Erwin?”

"Levi, I was drunk, and I just needed to take my mind off-"

"You needed to take your mind off the fact that you have one arm and three titan shifters missing," Levi said. He leaned forward. "Is that what you mean?"

He said nothing.

Levi continued. “I want to know why you did it. Why it was her instead of me.”

"I told you, I was drunk, and-"

"I was drunk when I told that Jaeger brat that he and Arlert would make a cute couple, big deal. So why her?"

It took a long time for Erwin to answer. “I don’t even remember what she looked like.”

"Unless you think of something, you’re going to find out by the end of the damn year. If it were me, none of this would have happened."

"Are you going to continue to make this about you?"

"No, I’m going to make this about me and the rest of the people you’re going to fuck over."

"How is this going to affect everyone else? Do tell, Levi."

Levi scoffed. “Don’t you know about Historia Reiss?”

"Yes. She hid under the name Krista Lenz."

"And…"

They said nothing else. Levi just looked at Erwin, attempting to break his hardened face. It worked.

"Are you afraid of what will happen by the end of the year?"

"I’m afraid of what will come after that," Levi said. "You’re still under fire after all the damage that happened inside Wall Sina."

"They’re not going to do anything to them."

"They’ll tie her to a stake. Blame her for the decisions you’re going to make once we meet with Pixis. Call it the work between a whore and a proponent of the destruction of humanity."

"You’re overthinking this."

"That's coming from a man who wondered whether the smoke signal for titans should be green or red."

Erwin wanted to laugh. But he instead looked back out the window. They were out of the town now. Nothing but yellow-green hills and bald trees. He wondered how that old man grew the apples in a town where their fields were in such poor condition, how life could thrive in such a desolate place.

"I could always…talk to her."

Levi’s eyes widened. Erwin had never seen him so surprised. “You don’t even remember what she looks like. Can you still find her? Do you think she’ll want to?”

"She can just go through with it and pretend it never happened. Just like I said. Chances are, she probably thought it was a mistake, too."

"Did she know who were?"

"She knew I had one arm. It was dark."

 _It was dark._ Levi’s eyes relaxed, but they felt more like blades now, ready to stab Erwin. His hands on his legs turned into fists.

“After we meet with Pixis, you’re going to find her. And you’re going to finish this.”

"That’s not your decision to make."

"It’s going to be everyone else’s decision if you don’t do something soon."

"This isn’t a titan or a soldier we’re talking about."

"People are dropping like flies because of all the other shit happening. How is this any different?"

He was right. It was silent again. The dead grass and hills went on for what felt like forever.

At last, Erwin finally spoke up. He didn’t want to touch him. “I’m sorry, Levi.”

Levi kept looking away, out the window. “Titans aren’t the only problem here, now.”

Erwin looked up at the carriage ceiling. An empty, dark canvas. “You’re right. It should have been you. Then none of this would have happened.”

Levi turned back at him. “I don’t want your apologies now. You put yourself into this hole, and you’re going to climb out of it.”

"Levi, you know I care about you."

"Uh-huh."

"And you know I care about the rest of the team. Hanji, Jaeger, Ackerman…all of them. You know that."

"Are you also going to tell me that shit comes out of an asshole?"

"I’m going to tell you that I’ll think of something. I’ve gotten us out of bad situations before."

"But it’s going to end the same way."

"How so?"

"Death."

Erwin’s face hardened again. “I told you, Levi. That’s not your decision to make.”

"But you and I both know it’s the best."

The carriage slowed down, then stopped. They were back on streets again, outside a large, cream-colored building.

"I’ll find her after all of this. We’re going to sort this out."

Erwin opened the door, ready to step out to greet Pixis. He was already holding a bottle of what looked like dark beer. Before Erwin stepped out, Levi put a hand on his forearm and gripped it tightly. He wasn't looking at him, but Erwin felt the sincerity in his otherwise chilling voice.

"I care about you too, Erwin. I really do hope you think of something."

And that was it.

Erwin met Pixis with a firm handshake. Pixis had to switch hands holding his beer so he could shake with his left hand.

"Good to see you, Commander!" he looked behind Erwin to see Levi hopping out. "I see you two survived the small carriage. Apologies for sending that one over. All the others were being repaired. Is there anything wrong? How are you feeling?"

Erwin hesitated, and glanced at Levi. Still intense, but he knew he saw a glint of worry in his superficially cold eyes.

He looked back at Pixis and smiled. "There's nothing wrong, Pixis. I'm fine. Just fine."

**Author's Note:**

> Hopefully many of you figured it out, but the trigger is abortion. I originally tagged it, but I didn't want to spoil the story. Thank you for reading!


End file.
